4/29 Snippet

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Kat and the Cursed

See last weeks Snippet (4/22) for more Kat and the Cursed

 

She hated birds why would she think she could do this. She was told they didn’t fly it seemed like they were doing it right now. She couldn’t even find the exit she got turned around somehow and was panicking.

A hand closed over hers. “Shut your eyes.” A deep voice said and started to pull her. In her panicked state she just did as she was told and clamped her eyes shut tight. She clutched the hand with both hers. It felt like forever though she was sure it was just seconds before they were out in the sunlight she could feel it and see the brightness behind her eyelids.  She went to open her eyes when the voice spoke again. “Please keep them closed for now.”

This was Victor, it had to be. She kept them shut as he asked. Already she felt special that he would trust her not to look at him. “Thank you. I’m sorry I don’t like birds.” He laughed and she could tell it was the one she had been hearing all day.

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13 thoughts on “4/29 Snippet”

  1. Well, I’m curious to know why they don’t like birds. One critique I found: in the first paragraph, you might want to reduce repeating “she”. In fact, the first two sentences could be combined into one. Sorry to be critical on my first visit to your blog. However, that’s the good thing about Weekend Writing Warriors – we’re all here to offer insightful tips. All the best in achieving your author dreams, Megan!

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  2. It read like poetry and was beautiful. If you meant it like that, keep it! If not, please check your punctuation to make the passage clearer to understand. Thank you for sharing!!!

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  3. Very intriguing snippet, and like others I’m curious to know why she doesn’t like birds. I also agree that some commas would be nice to vary the sentences – unless of course the slightly ‘staccato’ effect is intentional.

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